Opening up the Jaws

greatVowelShift

After he woofed, he hoofed as he roofed.

His hair was poofed, proof that he goofed.

“The roof tiles were sheaf’d,” he beefed.

Briefed of this grief, he fiefed

An eft. The left eft, heft to be cleft in his deft

Grip. “I lift and I sift,” he sniffed. “I’m miffed,

Set adrift, this rift is stiffed.”

(He whiffed and  he tiffed.) “I’m bluffed!

I’m puffed to be stuffed, buffed and rebuffed!”

Aww!

Shawn coughed soft–aloft the loft.

He doffed; then he offed!

Pastries a Nazi cannot See

doughnutsAdmiral Dönitz. DER-nits.
Dönitz doughnuts. DOE-nuts.
Admiral Dönitz Doggie Doughnuts.

Dönitz dog Dotna.
Dotna Dönitz.
Auditing dog.
Nutty dog!
Auditing nuts.

Dotna audited. (She oughtna’.)
Don’t, Dotna!
Dotna, don’t audit Dönitz Doughnuts’ dough nuts!

Vicious Shoe Issues

shadChad’s shed.

Chad Chew’s shed.

Shad shed.

Shad’s shed.

Chad Chew’s shad’s shed!

Shad? No shoes.

Unshod shad!

Chad Chew’s unshod shad’s shed.

A sod-shed.

Chad’s sod-shed.

Chad Chew’s unshod shad’s sod-shed.

Chad should shoe.

Chad should shoe his shad (f’sho’!).

Chad Chew should shoe his sod-shed’s unshod shad.

Should have. Should’ve. Shoulda.

Chad shoulda shod his shad.

Had Chad Chew shod his shad,

He woulda (and coulda) had—

Chad Chew’s shodden shad sod-shed.

So–

Chad Chew chooses newly shod shad from his sod-shed to issue fishy vichyssoise.