Ware Wear

Reminder: Always speak my verse aloud.

wire - vintage


Howe’s Wires.

Howe’s Wires: wire ware!

Rare wire ware.


Where’s Howe’s?

Here’s where Howe’s is:

Howser’s Warehouse is where Howe’s Wires is.

(Howser’s Warehouse also houses

(Mausers, hawsers, howitzers—whereas Howe’s Wires

(Houses rare wire ware where they are.)


How’s Howser’s?

How’s Howe’s?

How’s Howser’s warehousing?

How’s Howe’s wire housings?

How rare are Howe’s rare wire wares?

Wherefore care we?


Ominous Caffeine



“Cathay Cafe.”

Cathy’s Cathay Cafe.


How do you do?
One or two?

(One will do.)
What we do is
You choose chairs:
Basket shape or casket shape?


Geffin (guest), casket-sat, coughin’.

Right on Cathy’s Cathay Cafe’s coffin!

Geffin often sat, coughin’, sippin’ coffee—

Toffee-filtered coffee!


Geffin, guest, sat coffin-coughin’, feting toffee coffee in Cathy’s Cathay Cafe.

Worst Brat



Breitbach’s brat.

Breitbach’s brat’s bratwurst.

Breitbach’s brat bites brats.


So-so brats.

B-rate brats.

Brats worse. Worse bratwurst.


Breitbach’s brat berates B-rate, worse bratwurst he bites.


Brat’s a Brit.

Brightbach’s brat’s a bright Brit.



Breitbach’s bright Brit brat bites, berates worse, B-rate bratwurst—the brute!

Leftist Rites

Eric Holder

Eric Holder.

Are you cold?

Holder’s colder.

Right wing rights get his cold shoulder.


Bolder, Holder!

Use a boulder:



“I arrest rights.

“I arrest right.

“I arrest a rightist’s rights.

“That’s my rite.

“My right rite.”



A bolder, colder Eric Holder

Lifts, aright, his own left shoulder

At the rites of right wing rights–

The one rite left for which he fights.

Lois Lerner


Lois Lerner.

Learn ‘er, Lois!

Low is Lois.


Tea Party.

Non-profit? “Tardy.

Trap tea party tardy!”


Libs: our ills, uber alles.

Liber-ills bill our ills.

Bilious bills instill all ills.


Fifth Amendment? Own it!

Fifth Commandment? Do it!

Self-incriminate? “Invocate!”

Tea Party: “Eliminate!”

Roman Fury


Atticus. A test.

Atticus at a test.

Atticus attests.

Atticus attests at a test.

He tests and attests and he cusses.

“Curséd test!” he attests.

He cusses at tests.

Atticus curse-cusses, attesting at tests.

Atticus rests. Policeman arrests.

Arrest him he must:

Lest cursed Atticus, at rest, attest post-test curses.

Atticus gun

Note: as always with my material, you aren’t getting the effect if you don’t say the words aloud.

Multicultural Illnesses


Ma’s amah.
Ma’s amah has asthma.
Ma’s amah–of Manama.
Ma’s Manama amah has asthma!
Oh, Ma!
Man, amah!

Ma’s amah is Manaman;
Amah’s top: Panamanian.
Ma’s Manaman amah has Panamanian head ware.

Ah: Bahamas!
Bahamas-bound amah!
Manaman amah, Panamanian top, Bahamian trip–
Bahamas amah–asthma–Panamanian Bahamian–
Oh my, Ma!
Manaman monomania!

Asthma, amah, brings mono.
Mono; asthma. As Ma’s amah
Moans of mono,
Ma’s amah’s asthma’s anathema.

Pastries a Nazi cannot See

doughnutsAdmiral Dönitz. DER-nits.
Dönitz doughnuts. DOE-nuts.
Admiral Dönitz Doggie Doughnuts.

Dönitz dog Dotna.
Dotna Dönitz.
Auditing dog.
Nutty dog!
Auditing nuts.

Dotna audited. (She oughtna’.)
Don’t, Dotna!
Dotna, don’t audit Dönitz Doughnuts’ dough nuts!

Vicious Shoe Issues

shadChad’s shed.

Chad Chew’s shed.

Shad shed.

Shad’s shed.

Chad Chew’s shad’s shed!

Shad? No shoes.

Unshod shad!

Chad Chew’s unshod shad’s shed.

A sod-shed.

Chad’s sod-shed.

Chad Chew’s unshod shad’s sod-shed.

Chad should shoe.

Chad should shoe his shad (f’sho’!).

Chad Chew should shoe his sod-shed’s unshod shad.

Should have. Should’ve. Shoulda.

Chad shoulda shod his shad.

Had Chad Chew shod his shad,

He woulda (and coulda) had—

Chad Chew’s shodden shad sod-shed.


Chad Chew chooses newly shod shad from his sod-shed to issue fishy vichyssoise.

Legal Machinations in the Petroleum Industry

roller-cone-oil-well-drilling-bit-14314239Wil Tell.
Wil Tell will tell. Wil Tell, a tattle-tale!

Wil’s will.
Wil Tell’s wills.
Wil Tell’s wills will tell!
Wil Tell’s wills will tattle-tale well.

Wil Tell wills you to tell Tell’s wills.
Wil Tell wills you to tattle-tale Wil’s will well.

Wil’s well.
Wil Tell’s well: Wil Tell’s oil well!
Wil Tell’s oil well will.
Wil will tell Tell’s oil well will.

Will tell, Wil Tell!


Wil will tell Tell’s oil well will well, the tattle-tale!