Ask the wife for one small item—
Comb, a pen, a writ ad litum—
She’ll rummage purse capacity.
Don’t ask!–know perspicacity.
Husbands Gain this Wisdom
Tag Archives: light verse
Clemency Maintained
Clement grew potent, got caught in the moment.
He swelled out his monument—started to foment—
As Ms. Clement donned an erotical garment.
He: “Quotients of marriage are my just emolument.
“My seeds need to vomit a certain emollient.”
She: “Don’t froth so, dear—for me it’s a condiment.”
Hungry Mathematician
Leonardo Fibonacci
Hankered after spirits Scotchy.
(Barring that, some Nippon sake).
Sunday! Closed! He knew a gaucho,
Macho, Sunday-selling nachos.
Fibonacci’s macho gaucho nachos.
Pianist Speaking Disorder
The lissome composer, Franz Liszt,
Was affected by labial lisps.
Hungarian Rhapsodies
Proved the right remedies
To render Liszt’s lisp to a wisp.
Lawn Bowling Peril
Henry 8’s wife was lawn bowling.
Henry Percy saw, eyes rolling.
“Did he see more?” asked Jane Seymour.
“You may lose your head, Boleyn!”
Zederess – Zed or Ess?
A question that’s novelly dry, sir:
Is the “s” to be soft in T. Dreiser?
Or should it be “z”?
Conundrum to me
That spurs me to drink down Budweiser.
Clumsy Salamander
An eft. An inept eft.
Oft he coughed.
He slipped. He tripped.
He clipped his lip, and so it’s ripped.
The eft, it quipped, “I think I’m effed.”
Financial Misgivings
I had hired a brokerage.
Now I’m only broker. Rage!
There IS Such a Man
Socrates
Liked to tease.
Crept upon Diogenes.
“Cynic! Down! Upon thy knees!
“Douse thy lantern, for thou sees
“An honest man, I, Socrates.”
Probable Change
Probability master, Pascal,
Calculated a pass at a gal.
“I’ve got a queer grin.
“The odds are thus thin.
“I’ve a better chance with a gay pal.”
Todd Ehlers - Author Site 