Tag Archives: limericks
Southern Gangster
The gangster called Alphonse Capone
Went South to get a new phone.
“Our phone’s here are pone-y,
And not macaroni.”
Capone got a pone-phone to own.
Probate Conundrum
A will-maker, twisted and silly,
Remarked to a client named Willy:
“A willer may will
“Anything in a will,
“So will he will wills? Willy, will he?”
Wizard Leisure
He teed off at Caradhras Pass—
Gandalf, and pal Radagast.
It wedged in a tree,
So an ent sent it free.
“Gol’ dang it,” said Gandalf, “Dang golf!”
Cold Buildings
An architect crafted some friezes
In mid-winter when the air freezes.
His name? It was Jeffries.
Freedom E. Jeffries
So Jeffries: he Free’s freeze-y friezes.
Danger Wrung
This snake is a most pressing matter:
It wrings on the rungs of my ladder!
I grab its half lateral,
Hoping the latter’ll
Scatter the fangs of the adder.
Pan Panic
A friend I have who is Hispanic
Explained to me of his pan panic.
His wife, also Latin,
Pan-scorched the au gratin:
His Hispanic panic’s her pan (ick).
