It turns out that Louis Pasteur
Was, psychically, less than all pure.
A room he’d secure
With a hidden peep viewer:
Old Louis was quite the voyeur!
Tag Archives: limericks
True Scots
Empirically writing, John Locke
Philosophized next to a loch.
The loch was Loch Lomand:
All Gaelic—not Norman’d,
So John Locke’s loch book was a lock.
Pianist Speaking Disorder
The lissome composer, Franz Liszt,
Was affected by labial lisps.
Hungarian Rhapsodies
Proved the right remedies
To render Liszt’s lisp to a wisp.
A question that’s novelly dry, sir:
Is the “s” to be soft in T. Dreiser?
Or should it be “z”?
Conundrum to me
That spurs me to drink down Budweiser.
Feline Discrimination
Of all of the cat kingdom’s paucities
That lie in the onerous laws, kitties,
Passed by the hogs
Adjured by the dogs:
The ban of construction of paw cities.
Southern Gangster
The gangster called Alphonse Capone
Went South to get a new phone.
“Our phone’s here are pone-y,
And not macaroni.”
Capone got a pone-phone to own.
Probate Conundrum
A will-maker, twisted and silly,
Remarked to a client named Willy:
“A willer may will
“Anything in a will,
“So will he will wills? Willy, will he?”
Wizard Leisure
He teed off at Caradhras Pass—
Gandalf, and pal Radagast.
It wedged in a tree,
So an ent sent it free.
“Gol’ dang it,” said Gandalf, “Dang golf!”
Cold Buildings
An architect crafted some friezes
In mid-winter when the air freezes.
His name? It was Jeffries.
Freedom E. Jeffries
So Jeffries: he Free’s freeze-y friezes.
Danger Wrung
This snake is a most pressing matter:
It wrings on the rungs of my ladder!
I grab its half lateral,
Hoping the latter’ll
Scatter the fangs of the adder.
