Worst Brat



Breitbach’s brat.

Breitbach’s brat’s bratwurst.

Breitbach’s brat bites brats.


So-so brats.

B-rate brats.

Brats worse. Worse bratwurst.


Breitbach’s brat berates B-rate, worse bratwurst he bites.


Brat’s a Brit.

Brightbach’s brat’s a bright Brit.



Breitbach’s bright Brit brat bites, berates worse, B-rate bratwurst—the brute!

Extinct Hobby


Andrew Ward.
“Drew” Ward.
A drawer.
Drew Ward: drawer.

Dodo dew.
Drew Ward drew dodo dew.

“Drawers’ Dues.”
Drew Ward pays Drawers’ Dues.

Draw on dues.
Drawer Drew Ward drew on Drawers’ Dues.

Dues in drawer:
Drawers’ Dues drawer.


Drawer, Drew Ward, drawing dodo dew, drew on Drawers’ Dues drawer.

Shifty Fish Wish List

fishDid you give a herring her ring?

Beguile a bluegill?

Surge on a sturgeon?

Park a carp?

You shoulda’ had a shad.

Did you winnow a minnow?

Pick a pike?

Eye well a walleye?

Did you preach a perch?

Argue–or agree–a gar?

Rout a trout?

¡No mas salmon!

Did you tune a tuna?

(A cartoon tuna:

Did you tune a tuna ‘toon?)

Skewer a sucker?

Lean on an eel?

Cinch a conch?

Grip a grouper?

Shirk a shark?

Did you catch a lot of cachelot?


Czew, Choo, and Chew


A Czech and a Chechnyan checked out the chicken meet.

The Czech had his chick and the Chechnyan choked:

“The chick is a catch, but ouch! you have cheek!

“Checkin’ your chick in here clutching that meat.”

The Czech chick–Czill–chatted, “Ciao. For it’s mete

“When Czech chicks with poultry do choose to compete.”

“Check it!” said Chechnyan Chook from the city,

“You’re chock full of chutzpah: all chicken meat’s kitschy.

“A chick and meat’s not mete, Czill, at chicken meets.”

Did Homer Invent the Limerick?

amphora_100124_056Archeologists Discover Papyrus, Script

Link to Homeric Style “Certain,” says expert


“The ditty translates as follows:

I go to the amphora forum,
For it needs four metaphors for ’em.

I walk in the door with
Four metaphora forthwith—

Morphing amphora decorum.”